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Guidance for dealing with this common and frustrating form of behavior.
Many people often say “yes” to something when they’d rather say “no.” They offer cooperation through words but follow up with how they really feel―in actions that contradict their words. That’s passive-aggression. At its heart, passive-aggression is about being untrue to oneself, which makes it impossible to have a clean relationship with others. Passive-aggression as a communication method doesn’t make someone “bad.” It is simply a strategy learned in childhood as a coping mechanism, a hard-to-break habit. Changing passive-aggressive behavior requires knowledge, tools, and practice, as outlined here.The book offers effective methods for transforming passive-aggression into healthy assertiveness to communicate in constructive ways through eight keys: Recognize Your Hidden Anger; Reconnect Your Emotions to Your Thoughts; Listen to Your Body; Set Healthy Boundaries; Communicate Assertively; Interact Using Mindfulness; Disable the Enabler; and Problem-Solve for Better Outcomes. Hands-on exercises are featured, enabling readers to better understand themselves.
- Sales Rank: #84738 in Books
- Brand: Unknown
- Published on: 2013-10-21
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.20" h x .70" w x 6.20" l, .77 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 224 pages
- 8 Keys to Eliminating Passive-Aggressiveness: Strategies for Transforming Your Relationships for Greater Authenticity and Joy (8 Keys to Mental Health)
Review
“Brandt offers easy-to-follow explanations and workable methods to combat [passive-aggressiveness] . . . I now feel more equipped to recognize it in myself and in those around me and to replace it with more positive forms of expression.” (PsychCentral)
“Brandt has created a fluid narrative using expertly drafted anecdotes taken from her clinical experience and practical exercises to illuminate concepts. . . . The key strength of this book is the anecdotal stories that line the pages. . . . General readers will gain intimate knowledge of their own behavior and suggestions for eliminating passive-aggressiveness. Likewise, practicing psychotherapists will be exposed to relevant exercises that can immediately incorporated in the clinical setting.” (International Journal of Psychotherapy)
“Andrea Brandt’s 8 Keys to Eliminating Passive-Aggressiveness is a fabulous book. . . . [F]or starters, it’s fabulous because, in language all of us can understand, it explains this common behavior. . . . Brandt, who is a psychotherapist and anger management specialist, makes it clear that we all do at least occasionally commit passive-aggression.” (Parenting Press Newsletter)
“A clear and practical guide to tackling the enormously frustrating problem of passive-aggressive behavior, an issue that plagues both personal and business relationships. The 8 keys are powerful tools designed to end the reflexive suppression of anger, which later shows up as an infuriating ‘Huh? Me? What did I do?’ Dr. Brandt has done a masterful job providing strategies for dealing with the malignant passive-aggressive behaviors that secretly lie at the root of entrenched, perpetual problems. I wholeheartedly recommend this guide.” (Diana Shulman, JD, PhD, Certified Gottman Couples Therapist,
Los Angeles, CA)
About the Author
Andrea Brandt, PhD, has more than thirty years of experience working with individuals, couples, groups, and children. She is a sought-after television and radio show guest and lives in Santa Monica, California.
Babette Rothschild, MSW, has been a practitioner since 1976 and a teacher and trainer since 1992. She is a bestselling author of six books, all published by WW Norton and translated into more than a dozen languages. She is also the creator and Series Editor of the 8 Keys to Mental Health Series. After living and working for 9 years in Copenhagen, Denmark she returned to her native Los Angeles where she is writing her next books while she continues to lecture, train, consult, and supervise professional psychotherapists of all sorts worldwide.
Most helpful customer reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Best book in a LONG time
By Mrs Nelson
I've been reading and practicing mindfulness and anger management as well as non violent communication. I was convinced my husbands father was a narcissist, but it turns out, he's got very low self worth and is simply passive aggressive. When he moved in with us, my husband basically dug a hole and crawled in. I tried hard to discuss with him these behaviors, but he claimed I was "too sensitive" and that this wasn't affecting him and his sons relationship. Now that he's gone and my husband is slowly coming out of his shell, I am so grateful for this book. It highlights all of our conditioned behaviors without "blaming" but giving us clarity about where they were produced and now, how we MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY! It also touches on appropriate ways to communicate as well as all the ways our emotions effect our bodies physically so that people can become aware of what they're feeling in the first place. This book is a combo of several courses I've taken for thousands of dollars, 20 years of therapy and at least 1/2 of the self help books I've read in the past. Well worth the read and the inner work!
32 of 33 people found the following review helpful.
A must read for therapist and for those who exhibit passive aggressive behavior or who are their victims.
By Jeffrey F. Silber
As a Life and Business Coach, I do not practice psychology however I like to read psychology books from time to time to give me a better insight into some of the issues that might be hindering my clients' progress. A friend recommended the 8 Keys to Eliminating Passive-Aggressiveness by Dr. Brandt. I found this relatively short book to be brilliant. It is a laser-like approach to identifying the anger and passive-aggressive behaviors that get in the way of many people having the happy productive lives they want or in creating healthy relationships at home or in a work environment.
This insights and knowledge this book provides are profound and yet at the same time it can be read and understood at many levels. Dr. Brandt uses clear, realistic and practical examples to illustrate every point. Therefore, whether you are a therapist or an individual exhibiting passive-aggressive behavior or you are the partner of someone damaging your relationship because of this behavior - this book is a must read.
Five stars are not enough - I officially give 8 Keys to Eliminating Passive-Aggressiveness six star and two thumbs up.
Jeffrey Silber, CPA, MBA , ACC
25 of 26 people found the following review helpful.
This book really helped my marriage!
By John Pomposello
My wife gave me this book to read. Grudgingly, I started to read it - and I couldn't believe how much it was all about ME! After I read it, I thanked my wife and we now have a better and more open dialog with each other. It really helped my marriage!
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